A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES
[Boss Ni] Angie?
Angie?
Breakfast is ready!
Come downstairs--
Gui! Where's my fucking daughter?
I was with Ms. Angie in her room just hanging out
and then she just went all crazy, you know?
-Knocked me the fuck out. -You're full of shit.
Boss... Dad...
I mean, to be fair,
you're the one who raised her and trained her.
She's like some kind of raptor.
I had no chance.
What was your responsibility since the day I adopted you?
I gave you one job.
-[Gui groans] -[Boss Ni] What was it?
You told me to protect Ms. Angie.
And now she's missing.
Yeah, you're right, she's totally vanished.
What should we do about it?
Hey, listen, Boss, I got it. I have a thought.
Missy ran out so swiftly, like a kitty up a tree,
so she's bound to seek shelter at a hotel.
I'll get some men on that. Yeah.
You hear a peep, you come to me immediately.
Yeah, sure. OK.
[groans]
God damnit.
I know I'm not his real son,
but he doesn't have to treat me like a common orphan.
I suck.
I agreed to hire you as a bodyguard,
but we need to be clear on the terms.
First...
apart from me, no one can know that you're from the Cosmo GangGang
and Boss Ni's daughter.
Not a problem.
Second,
from this moment on,
unless Ling Yun is at home, you have to be right there by her side.
Not a problem.
[Kwong] Third, you are first and foremost a bodyguard,
but you must appear like you are her assistant
and learn those responsibilities.
Not a problem.
[Kwong] Fourth, in either capacity, just stick to your job.
Don't get distracted by anything.
Are you even listening?
Do you think this is just for fun?
I will make this very clear -
you make one mistake, cross any boundary,
I won't hesitate to fire you.
[Angie swallows]
Do not disappoint me.
My assistant Nana will show you around the office now.
Not a problem.
I am Nana.
Hold this.
Ms. Kwong is busy, so I'm gonna give you the rundown of everything.
Here is the company's bookshelf. Not important.
Over there is the toilet
Don't hold it in. We have no time for UTI's.
Now, over here is our fancy pool table.
-Hi. -You look pretty interested.
Moving on to the meat and potatoes.
That there is your desk.
Any personal items have to look tidy and clean.
These are our two hottest talents.
I'm sure you know all about them, right?
-What are you doing? Oh, selfie. Oh, yeah. -[they laugh]
Accounting: 7th floor. I'll tell you where the others are later.
This is Ms. Kwong's office.
Take some advice: best not to bother her ever.
Bother me instead.
This is our fully-stocked break room.
Glasses, dishes, utensils and snacks galore.
Most importantly,
there's one cup you cannot use:
mine.
[Angie laughs]
Not funny.
Yi-Hang and Ling Yun's mugs are also no-no's.
Don't even think of touching them.
Which mug is Yi-Hang's?
[Nana] The one with the blue elephant, The red and white stripes is Ling Yun's.
-[Angie giggles] -You know what.
-Our company values tidiness. -[soda can opens]
[Nana] An immaculate office is our key to success.
-It enables our employees... -[romantic music playing]
[romantic music continues]
[Angie giggles]
-[Nana] What's wrong with you? -[Angie gasps]
[music ends]
Put that down right now.
[sighs] Since you're part of team now, I need to ask you a few questions.
You got a lover?
Do you have any pets?
-A few cockroaches. -Don't try to be cute with me, OK?
Live with your mother?
Uhh... Not for a while, no.
That's healthy.
You're expected to be on call 24/7.
Someone like you who's single, with no pets,
doesn't live with family and has no life is perfect.
Work-life balance is overrated. Everyone who works here is alone.
In this industry, no one has a good relationship.
OK, back on point.
Ms. Kwong said you'll be handling Ling Yun.
From now on, you'll have to know everything about her.
I'll give you a memo later. Read it carefully.
Hey, Nana, just one last thing.
Can you also give me a memo on Yi-hang, too?
Why would you need that?
Mm, well, since I'm working here now,
Yi-Hang and Ling Yun often work together, right?
If I need to help out with anything in the future,
it's best if I know everything I can about them.
Okay, I'll write that up in a bit. Can we be done now?
-[Nana sighs] -One more last thing.
Do you think Yi-Hang will visit work today?
[exhales] Why do you care so much about Yi-hang?
Are you just creepy or an obsessed fan girl?
Come on. Really?
Do I look like a fangirl to you?
[Nana] Possibly. Or like a gangster.
A gangster?
Uh, hey, Nana!
OK, I have a sick friend who loves him. An autograph would mean the world to her.
-If he visits the office-- -[Nana] He won't!
His clumsy ass fell into a river and now he's sick as shit!
[Yi-Hang sneezes and sniffles]
[groans]
[blows nose]
GANGSTER WORLD GENRE: ACTION ROMANCE
A-XIONG'S EYES LOOKED HELPLESS. HE SLIGHTLY SMILED AT XIAO-YA.
I CAN'T BLAME ANYONE. THIS IS THE LIFE OF A GANGSTER.
[clicks tongue]
[sniffles]
Uhh... Motivation, motivation... What is his motivation?
1993, FLASHBACK, OLD HOUSE BLACK MARKET TRADING, ESCAPE
[sighs]
[sneezes]
Give me your best room.
Hey, girl. Does this hotel have any good rooms?
What kind of room would you prefer?
Your most expensive.
Yes, ma'am. And how long will you be staying?
A good while.
I'll... I'll put you down for two months.
Hey, Missy.
No tail. Coast is clear.
Whoa!
Look at you. Such a stylish runaway.
Did you tell my dad?
No! I wouldn't do that!
But, he's got everyone looking for your ass. Watch out.
If he's able to find me, it's on you.
Chill out, I'm cool.
Dig in.
Look at you. A fucking fugitive, and you're still looking out for me.
Mm-hmm. You should remember that.
-[Gui] Mm-hmm. -Now, you're gonna return the favor.
Yeah, sure. How?
This meal is on you.
-[Angie giggles] -What?
Give me your cash.
Oh, Angie...
You put Butch Cassidy to shame.
This fucking money doesn't grow on trees.
[Angie] This is the last time I'm asking you for anything.
Yeah, sure, sure, sure.
-What now? -You've got more.
What's in your shoes?
-[he laughs] -[Angie] I'm not joking.
-How the fuck did you know? -[fake laughs] Of course, I know.
Mm-mm. You're good. Too good.
You looked two inches taller.
You think I'm blind?
[Gui] Two fucking inches.
Two fucking inches.
Another two fucking inches.
[Angie] First of the month, I'll pay you back.
Hey, Ms. Angie,
while you're counting my money, keep in mind, you wiped me out.
I'm broke.
Yeah, that's it. Give me that. I'll take that.
[Angie] Hmm.
[sarcastic laugh] Two?
Check, please.
[laughs] So generous!
-A fillet mignon to go. -[Gui] Two fucking bills. [laughs]
[chuckles] Stop whining.
[Gui] I'm not whining, I'm just moved.
Have some steak. I'll eat your veggies.
-[laughs] -Mm, I'm also very touched.
♪ Shitty cell phone Why'd you die on me? ♪
♪ How did I forget my charger? ♪
♪ I'm so bored I am going insta-cray-ay-zy ♪
-[doorbell] -[Ding Ding] Welcome!
[Angie] Ding Ding!
I got you dinner! [laughs]
-[Ding Ding] That's awesome! -[Angie] Filet mignon.
Filet Mignon from you, so a beer on me.
Thank you.
Hey, so, when are you supposed to get hitched?
I don't wanna know.
How the hell are you manage
being the first runaway bride in the history of the Cosmos gang?
Keep prodding
and you'll be the first cashier to be filleted during a graveyard shift.
No, please, don't.
I have songs to write, albums to record. I have a bright future ahead of me.
Unlike you.
But, you're free now, and with loads of money.
-Why work as a bodyguard? -Because I want to support myself.
Until now, I never considered how insignificant I really am.
Now, I see how much time I've just pissed away.
Becoming a bodyguard is my first act of value.
From now on,
I'm going to live my own life!
[Ding Ding] Angie...
how long did you practice that?
[laughs] Long enough to convince Ms. Kwong.
You dig it?
It's catchy, huh?
-OK, fine. Not bad. -[she laughs]
So hey, as the only daughter of Cosmos Gang.
is it really safe for you to be out all alone?
Couldn't someone try to hurt you?
-[Angie] Right here. -Uh-huh?
I'm packing cash and a gun.
Right here, I'm packing punches in Aikido, Taekwondo, and Krav Maga.
So, let them bring it on -
especially, the douchebags who have been following me.
Those morons think I'm blind.
I don't see them.
[stomach growling]
Oh, there's something shitty in this steak.
[farts] Oh, no...
Watch the store, OK?
Well...
when you gotta go, you gotta go!
Cheers! [she laughs]
Ah!
This beer tastes like shit, but it goes down smooth with your hotness.
Mmm...
-[door bell] -[sighs] Welcome.
-[man 1] This... this is a robbery. -[man 2 grunts]
[clicks tongue]
Hold on a sec.
Fuck. So little cash.
-[robber 2 grunting] -[robber 1 breathing heavily]
Take two packs of gum on the house.
-Give us more money, lady! -Gimme everything you got!
[scoffs] Quit pointing that butter knife at me.
Here's another present for you. Go on.
[both gasp and chuckle]
And some more.
-Huh? -Yes!
Hey.
[both laugh]
-Thank you! -[laughs] My pleasure.
[sighs]
Poor schmucks.
Whoa!
[laugh greedily]
-Whoa! -Wow!
-I told you today was our lucky day. -Yeah.
-[both continue laughing] -We're rich!
[laughing] You're stinkin' rich! I'm so jealous!
You know who I am? Huh?
Yeah?
Shmucks! What were you thinking?
The crime rate is through the roof because of bozos like you.
[laughs] Good work, nice job.
-You should be proud. -[Henchmen] Ms. Ni!
Hi, Ms. Angie.
Go on!
Give the lady back her bag!
[stutters] Sorry!
-We apologize. -Thank you.
What's in your pocket?
Don't think I know.
God, you're such sloppy shmucks.
Since you're so well behaved, this one's on me.
-[Angie] One each. -[stutters] Thank you, miss.
We'll take it from here, Missy. I'm gonna teach them good.
[laughs] Bye, bye, bye.
Now, I'm gonna show you how to take it like men.
[robbers yelping and whimpering]
Hey, man. What you looking at?
[Yi-Hang] Umm... Nothing.
-What are you doing? -Us?
We're Neighborhood Watch. Hey. This is a war zone.
It's very dangerous. You should go home.
-Good night. -[Yi-Hang] Thank you.
[Gui clicks tongue]
I don't think you understood what I just said.
-Didn't I say, "Go home"? -[Yi-Hang] But I...
-Brothers. -[henchmen] Yes!
[Yi-Hang] Oh... Yeah, OK! Sorry. Goodnight.
-Goodnight. -Bye, bye.
-What a doofus. -[Ding Ding] What's the deal?
Just cleaning up the neighborhood.
-Don't worry about it. [exhales] -Oh.
-Cash goes back. -OK.
Bottle... recycling.
Right.
-I'll see you later. -Uh... hey... Angie...
Here. Please, give this to Ms. Kwong.
SEPT-OCT 2019 DING DING'S GREATEST HITS
-"Ding Ding's Greatest Hits"? -[chuckles]
Please. I worked really hard on that.
-Fine. If I see an opening. -Hey...
So, what are they gonna do with those two hoods?
[laughs]
What do you think?
[robber screams]
Yi-Hang, this vitamin tablet is heaven! Saves my ass every day.
Thanks.
-Is Ms. Kwong here today? -[Nana] Yes.
Ms. Kwong is with Ling Yun.
She's helping her with those scary blackmail letters.
-Here. -What the hell is wrong with people?
Where's my mug?
Oh, right. Where is your mug?
Ms. Kwong, I don't need protection.
That letter was just someone trolling me.
-Why are you taking it so seriously? -[Kwong] Someone has to if you're not.
-I'll feel better if someone's with you. -[Ling sighs]
I hate it when someone follows me around like a shadow.
I can take care of myself.
I don't need an assistant or a chauffeur.
She is your bodyguard, not a shadow.
I don't care what she's called, I don't want one.
If I may...
Ms. Ling Yun, before you apply makeup,
you like to have an espresso to reduce bloating.
You like spicy food, but you don't eat it when you're shooting.
It gives you gas.
And your favorite fruit is Durians,
but you're embarrassed to admit it.
When you film out of town, you request to be picked up an hour early
because you have insomnia and tend to be up anyway.
And when you don't have work, you stay at home or go for a long run.
Ling Yun, I know about all your habits.
-Even the kind of toilet paper you use... -No, I use a bidet.
[sigh] Yeah, I know.
You use toilet paper first, then you use the bidet...
OK, stop!
Are you a pervert or a peeping tom?
I'm not stalking you.
I just want to assure that
I'm not only a bodyguard, I'm also a good assistant.
[Ling sighs] Fine.
She can be my assistant,
but I don't want to be followed all the time.
I knew you would say that.
I heard that you're very--
What's that?
How about...
if you download this tracking app and share your location,
then I'll always know where to find you and I won't have to follow you everywhere.
It would be like I'm not even there.
I'll think about it.
But I'm telling you,
you are never gonna need this creepy app.
[Angie slurps and gulps]
Bye-bye, Ling Yun!
Good work.
-Thank you. -How'd you know about the toilet paper?
Oh, my God, this might be TMI,
but when I used her bathroom, I saw something really cool in her toilet.
I think it was a secret tampon dispenser.
♪ My love is half-baked ♪
♪ My love is a half-baked potato ♪
[clapping]
-Oh, my God. -Nice singing.
-You're back. -I brought your jacket.
-I washed it. Thank you. -Oh,
You didn't need to return it - that's so kind of you.
Well, it's your jacket. I couldn't wear it. It'd be a waste.
Oh, a movie star who cares about waste.
[Yi-Hang laughs]
-Anyway, I'd like to ask you something. -Yeah?
[Yi-Hang] Is this neighborhood unsafe?
Why do you ask?
The other day, I think I saw some gangsters here.
Oh, them? Yeah, they're just regulars here.
-They looked like gangsters. -Gangsters need to buy things, too.
When do they usually come here?
That really depends, but mostly at night.
So, what do they buy when they're here?
They get beer, cigarettes, Q-tips...
When it's a little hot outside, they love ice--
But, hey... why are you asking?
Just taking notes.
-Mm-hmm. -Well, gotta go to work now.
OK.
-Thanks. -Sure. No problem.
Hey.
Do you...
do you really think it's good?
My music?
It's good. It sounds pretty catchy.
[exhales in relief]
-Good luck. -Yes, sir.
-[doorbell chimes] -Oh, my God.
Yes!
[sighs]
How much could I sell this for?
[soft piano music playing]
[cell phone ringing]
What is it?
Excuse me?
Then, where the hell is she?
THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN IS AT HAND
Where am I?
[crew 1] Where's Ling Yun?
-Hey. -Mr. Director.
-Where's Ling Yun? -We're trying to reach her.
-[crew 1] She's not here yet. -I don't think she's got an assistant yet.
-[crew 1] Her assistant? -[crew 2] Yes.
-She's right there eating the cookies. -[crew 2] That? Her?
Yoo-hoo, Space Cadet.
Where is your boss?
[director, scoffs] Go look for her.
-Oh! I'll go find her. -[crew 2] What are you doing? Find her!
[Angie pants]
Ms. Ma'am, can I borrow this scooter?
What if I buy it from you?
Uh... Is this enough?
Thanks, Ms. Ma'am.
Ms. Ma'am...
do you even use a helmet?
[cell phone pinging]
[automated voice] Target located.
There are no drivers available right now.
[she sighs]
Hi, Ling Yun. Hi!
Who was it that said I wouldn't need to use this app?
Even without the app, I would have figured it out.
Oh, really?
Get on.
Everyone's waiting for you.
I don't like motorcycles.
If you say so.
So, how about this?
You can wait here while I go get a taxi.
Hey...
[Angie] Hmm?
-Alright. -Huh?
Alright!
[Angie] OK.
Get on. Here.
[scoffs] Are you kidding me?
Do you want the one with the giant wooden spoon?
[Ling wailing]
I'm so sorry. I'm really sorry I'm late.
[director] Thank God you're finally here.
It's all good. We all just took a break.
-Now, get Ling Yun into makeup. -[crew 1] Got it.
-[director] OK, everyone, break's over. -[crew 2] Don't dilly-dally!
-[grunts] -I'll never get on that thing again.
[crew 1] Ms. Ling Yun, please come with me.
[Angie] Hmm.
[sighs]
[crew 2 whispers] That girl has got the golden touch.
[she exhales deeply]
[sobbing]
[director] And, cut.
-Ling Yun, darling, that was fantastic. -[crew applaud]
-Thank you. -[director] And that's a wrap.
-[crew 2] Ling Yun, that was amazing. -Thanks.
[indistinct chatter]
[Ling sighs]
-Let me rest for a bit, thank you. -[crew 3] Of course.
Charcoal throat-coat tea?
Ling Yun, when were you smoking that crack...
[inhales and blows]
...it felt so real, like you had done it before.
What are you talking about?
I'd never do drugs.
No. Of course, you wouldn't.
I mean, you're vegan and gluten-free, and you're super healthy.
Crack is for Frosted Flake eaters.
What I meant was, you're stupid talented.
-[crew 1] Excuse me. -[Angie] Hm?
This is Ling Yun's contract. Could you please give it to Ms. Kwong?
-Thanks. -[Angie] Sure. Thank you.
Keep that contract safe.
Please, hand it to legal first thing tomorrow.
[Angie] Mm-hmm.
[Angie yawns]
Ling Yun, let me drive you to work from now on.
It'll be safer and quicker with me driving.
Oh, hey. You're Yi-Hang Xu's lover, Ling Yun.
-[cell phone keypad beeping] -[sighs] Oh, please!
-[cell phone rings] -Stop reading the tabloids.
They're all bullshit. Don't waste your time...
Hello, Mrs. Kwong.
Isn't she the one in the photos at his place?
Fake News! [groans]
Hey, man, stop gossiping and mind your own business.
Focus on driving, you stoner!
Sir, please take me to Xinyi Road instead.
[driver] Got it. Xinyi Road it is.
You're not going home?
I'm going to my boyfriend's.
-[romantic music playing] -[Angie giggles] Hi.
What the hell are you doing?
It's so soft.
Hundred percent cashmere, right? It feels so...
Didn't you need the bathroom? Use it and then go home.
[Ling] Don't touch anything.
[cell phone beeps]
YOU SURE YOU WANT TO KEEP AVOIDING ME?
BLOCK THIS NUMBER?
CONFIRM
[gasps quietly]
[quietly squealing]
Wow!
[giggles]
[sniffs]
Wow, nice.
Voila!
Hey...
Oh, hello, you look just like the one I have.
How are you? My name is Angie.
[giggles]
[she squeals in delight]
Mr. and Mrs. Xu Elephant!
[squeals and giggles]
[squealing and giggling]
-Hey! -[gasps]
-Uh! You! -[Angie screams]
-[Yi-Hang] My elephant! -[Angie] Sorry! I'm sorry!
-[Angie] Oh, God! -[Yi-Hang] Hey!
-Sorry! Sorry! -[Ling] What's going on?
-[Angie] Bye, Ling. -[Yi-Hang] Wait!
[Angie] Sorry, sorry, sorry!
Who was that?
Some assistant Mrs. Kwong hired. Are you OK?
[elephant trumpets]
[distorted] Will you marry me?
[wet, sloppy licks]
[menacing laughter]
[Angie gasps]
[sighs]
[male voice on TV] Male elephants court female elephants
by fighting with other males.
If the female elephant ignores him, the other male elephant will wait nearby.
Female elephants are only in heat for a few days every four years.
Many get hurt, some die, and the lucky few find pleasure.
[toaster ticking]
[toaster pops]
-[Yi-Hang] Good morning. -Morning.
Ling Yun, so that girl was your new assistant?
Yeah, but you already know that.
She saw me in my elephant pajamas. She won't tell anyone, will she?
[laughs] So what if she saw? It's not a deal-breaker.
What's her name?
Angie Ni.
Where does she live?
I think she lives in a hotel.
Why do you wanna know?
Something went missing after she was here last night.
-Wait, she stole something? -It's not like that. Nothing serious.
Something just went missing.
What was it? Was it expensive?
-Nah, just a little thing. -What kind of little thing?
It's just a little thing that's pretty important to me.
Yi-Hang, can you be more specific?
It's little and important to me and I don't want to talk about it.
It's my secret.
[dramatic music playing]
Miss, can you check on a room number?
[exhales]
[cell phone ringing]
[ringing tone]
Pick up or we're dead.
Boss Ni, we found her.
Yes, Boss Ni.
-[cell phone ringing] -[Angie sighs]
What?
I'm sorry, Missy. Your dad's coming for you.
-Get the hell outta here! -[growls] Damnit. You fucking snitch!
That's not fair. I'm trying to help you. It's not like I could stop him.
-I'm telling you now, aren't I? -Gui, you're so dead!
-No one's here. -Damnit!
Angie.
Angie!
[she sighs]
It's time you came home.
Come home with me.
Never ever!
-Get her! -[Radish] Don't let her bad ass get away!
-[Yi-Hang] Hey! -[grunts]
-Angie Ni. -[Angie] Hi. Step on it, please.
-Go now! -[Yi-Hang] Ah!
[indistinct shouting]
[all panting]